Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The pain of Infertility Explained

For those that struggle with infertility, it many times can be hard for others to understand. Even if you've had/have children, are pregnant, have been pregnant, etc., you will always be someone who has gone through infertility and someone who feels the pain that infertility leaves. In browsing through my FB groups on my lunch hour today, I found this and thought that this describes infertility better than anything else I've seen...

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.


  1. “…you will always be someone who has gone through infertility and someone who feels the pain that infertility leaves.” – In some way, I find this part encouraging. Wherever you might be, you are not struggling alone. Look at this angle positively. There are proven miracle cases, even after decades of trouble in having a baby. Though it is hard to constantly expect and be disappointed, I think a baby for a reward is always worth a try. :]

  2. I love this i read this almost everyday and it still makes me tear up. Just because this explains word by word the pain we all feel month after month :'(