Maternity Clothes

I bit the bullet & ordered a few maternity pieces from Motherhood Maternity because they were having a free shipping event! I got the items yesterday & wore the tunic & leggings for the first time today! So comfy! Can't wait for the work pants to come in as I'm in desperate need, belly is taking over. Here is my outfit today :) I also ordered a few fun shirts & a onesie yesterday, so cute/funny! I'll put up pics when they arrive!

The pain of Infertility Explained

For those that struggle with infertility, it many times can be hard for others to understand. Even if you've had/have children, are pregnant, have been pregnant, etc., you will always be someone who has gone through infertility and someone who feels the pain that infertility leaves. In browsing through my FB groups on my lunch hour today, I found this and thought that this describes infertility better than anything else I've seen...

Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.

The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.

Remembering Orville Guest Post

There's this amazing couple, Candace & Chris that write a blog called Our Misconception. They've been struggling with infertility for far too long! I've gotten to know Candace through an IVF group on Facebook. She had 3 guest authors this week for Pregnancy & infant awareness loss month. I got the opportunity to write a post for her blog. I used the post I wrote the day of my D&C when I lost Orville. I cut it down as much as I could and she posted it yesterday. I've gotten such amazing feedback on the post and I'm sure she got a lot of page views from it. It's a very raw, truthful post. I know many of my followers read the original post, but if you'd like to read the version I edited for my guest post, I'd love for you to check it out here: Remember Orville. I especially love the picture she chose for the post. Thanks again for all the love and support <3

9w4d Ultrasound!!

I had my official dating ultrasound with Southtown's Radiology this past Tuesday & it was amazing!! Baby Astry was measuring right on what we should be measuring at 9w4d. Baby was moving all around, it was amazing! The tech told me that I have a very active baby & everything looked great! The HB was in the 170s and she even played the sound of the heart beating away for me, it was so wonderful! I'm now 10w1d. Everything has been going great. I am so exhausted and feel best when I get 9-10 hours of sleep each night! Granted I do get up "a million times" each night caused my insomnia and my freakishly small bladder haha! I have this amazing boppy pregnancy pillow that I highly recommend!! I'm so glad I spent the money on it! Casey even wants one! Haha. I've been quite nauseous in the mornings, but I'm good once I eat :) Sometimes I get it during the day if I get too hungry! I was surprised the 1st time I nauseous as I didn't have it last time, definitely a good sign for this pregnancy. Oh and I've been craving sweets like crazy, which is very unlike me normally!! I've started drinking fruit/veggie smoothies to get fruits/veggies in during the day, they're actually really good!! And that's my update! See some pictures below :)

Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness

In October 1988, President Ronald Reagan proclaimed October as national pregnancy & infant loss awareness month. October 15 is a day where grieving parents can come together. A "wave of light" is done at 7 pm to remember our angels by lighting a candle. Tonight at 7 pm both Casey & I each lit a candle to remember Orville who we'll always love & miss. I am also going to be a guest blogger on a friends blog sometime in the next 2 weeks talking about the loss. The post is basically a repeat post with some editing. It was definitely emotional reading through the post and bringing up those emotions. I will share as soon as the post is up! Lastly, I broke 20,000 views on my blog! Woohoo never imagined having such an impact on others!! Thank you to everyone who reads my posts. Below are the candles we lit tonight. RIP Orville <3

Last RE Appointment/Ultrasound

Today was my final appointment at Buffalo IVF. It's very bittersweet but they've done their job & it's time for us to part ways. I will miss all the nurses and doctors as they've been so great to us over the last 18 months. But, time to move forward. My first OB appointment is on October 15 at Omni OBGYN in Hamburg. I found the 1st doctor that ever prescribed me fertility meds at this group. His name is Dr Bitar and I first met him 2 years ago right before he left Dr Persaud's office. I'm excited to go to a group. Ill see three different OB's, a NP & a CNN if I want too. As far as I know, they deliver at Women's and Children's hospital in buffalo. I know it's a far drive, so hopefully I don't suddenly going into labor when it's time. I am looking forward to my first appointment & meeting the people at the office. That's it for now. Below is a picture from today's scan. Baby is measuring great, has a heartbeat of 166 & the doctors are very happy, as are we :)