Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad:

I wish I could have said “good-bye”. It sometimes seems unfair that I never even was able to say “hello”. I am OK now; everything is better. I miss you and always will, but I believe we will be together again, in time, for all time. Right now though, that seems like an eternity. In time, it will be for eternity.

Please, remember me, use my name, tell my family and your friends about me. Never forget me or pretend I didn’t exist.

Thanks for all you did for me. Mom, thanks for putting up with the changes in your body; thanks for everything you shared with me. Thanks for talking to me; I know your hopes and dreams for me. Thanks for the songs you sang, and for those gentle pats you gave me while I floated inside. You may not realize, but the rhythmic contracting of your heart helped me rest peacefully and reassured me. As I grew, I could feel your heart beating better and better, and it gave me such a wonderful sense of comfort.

Thanks for the tears you shed for me. I know you did everything you could for me and I am fortunate to have you for my Mother. I am sorry for the pain and sadness you have suffered.

Dad, thanks for being there for Mom and me, It must have been so hard for you, trying to be strong and brave for Mom when you were confused, upset and afraid yourself. I will miss growing up with you, wrestling, being tossed in the air, just sitting on your lap learning how to use the TV remote control. Please don’t ever forget about me. I will not forget you.

If there is something I have learned, it is that you will not find the answer to the “why” of this, not now anyway. God did not make this happen, but He will help you live, love and laugh again. Sometimes that can seem very difficult when you hurt and so badly want answers.

I want you to live today; be happy. Bring laughter back into the house. Dare to dream again. You know so much better than many that life is often too short, too unpredictable. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

I would rather this all be a very bad nightmare, but I can do nothing to change that now. However, you can make something good out of my death if you use it as an opportunity to love each other a little more, and reach out. There are so many hurting people out there who need a hand, or a hug or a “hello” or just someone to listen. Don’t be afraid to admit you may be one of them. Be gentle with each other.

On a still, clear night, look for me, out there in the peace and quiet. Look up, not by the Big Dipper or the Milky Way, but over there in the corner of the sky. See that small, twinkling star you never noticed before?

One more thing before I go, thanks a lot for everything you did for me. Thanks for caring and sharing. Thanks for trying and for crying. I love you, lots. And Mom and Dad, “good-bye”, “good-bye for just a little while longer”.

Love you,
Your Angel Baby

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