8 week update

Soooo, this pregnancy I have been SUPER nauseous!! It's definitely a big change from when I was pregnant with Hank. It's occurring on and off all day long! I'm starting to get used to it though, it started when I was around 4 weeks along!

We announced our pregnancy this week, so that was exciting! I couldn't believe it that the Facebook video had over 4K views! (here's the original post) Insane!! I appreciate everyones thoughts, prayers and support!!

My "bump" is growing SUPER fast. I know they say you show sooner with each subsequent pregnancy, but holy moly! I couldn't hide this baby if I tried haha!! My ovaries are still very swollen but fluid seems to be going down so that's good! Lots of growing going on. I'm feeling it in my uterus and lots of round ligament pain too. Which is normal, it happened super early with me for Hank as well!

Below are some pictures and our flipagram announcement video :D

PS -- in case you haven't "heard" we are NOT finding out the sex of the baby until birth :D

Our Flipagram Announcement video

6 weeks pregnant

7 weeks pregnant

7w1d ultrasound -- released from Buffalo IVF. HB 134 BPM

Due in October :D 7w1d here

8 weeks pregnant

8w1d ultrasound -- 1st OB appointment. HB 174 BPM.

Embryo Transfer

After much convincing from Dr. Griffin we transferred one embryo that's in quote "pristine condition." It's rated an AB, he explained what that means, but I can't re-explain it haha. Dr Griffin said they rarely rank them this high. It's even beginning to hatch, which is so cool. We have two more that are a little behind this, and 2 more a little behind those 2. I was super nervous about transferring 1, but all 3 RE's agreed it was the best thing to do for my body if we were transferring fresh, they still would've preferred freezing and transferring at a later date. I still had quite a bit going on in my ovaries and some fluid as well. So we'll see how I feel the next couple days. Lining looked good thankfully. 

I was so worried that we would transfer only 1 embryo & have none freeze & I'd feel like I didn't give 1 more a fighting chance. It was a battle I was having with myself since before we made the final decision until I talked to Dr. Griffin again...I am so happy to report that we have 3 snowbabies waiting for us for future use. Plus they have an approximate 98% thaw rate which is simply amazing. I feel so much better now that I know we have 3 frozen embryos, we're so blessed to have them. I can breathe a little bit of a sigh of relief now :D So now we wait...


My lucky tee :) Dr Griffin and the nurse got a kick out of it!

Our absolutely gorgeous embryo ❤️❤️

PUPO :D

Egg Retrieval and Update

So, egg retrieval was Wednesday morning. The weather called for 4-8 inches of snow, so we left nice & early. Thankfully we didn't get the snow they were calling for, so we got to the office early. I had to be there at 7:30 am. I got back to the IVF area and got my IV in (which went in wonderfully by the way!). They took be back for ER just after 8 am I believe. I don't remember much after the anesthesiologist turned on the drugs to put me under. The next thing I remember is IVF nurse Kathy telling me they got 21 eggs! Holy crap, 21 eggs. I couldn't even believe it. No wonder I've had such a full feeling! The most eggs I ever got was 11 eggs and that was with Hank's retrieval. When retrieval was over, Dr. Griffin talked to Casey to tell him what they got and that we would decide later whether we're going to shot for a fresh or a frozen transfer. The earliest we would transfer though would be day 5 which is Monday. I wore a t-shirt made by a friend to the ER. And the other picture is me after I was allowed to eat something haha!! Overall I was pretty achy yesterday which is normal after ER. I rested up a lot and took advantage of the pain meds :) 

So today I'm feeling much better. A little sore here & there, but not much bloating which is definitely nice!! Out of the 21 eggs retrieved, we had 13 fertilize and 9 are normal and growing good. The doctors think I should do a frozen transfer but are letting me be a part of the decision making process based on how I'm feeling. They're treating the embryos the same right now whether we transfer fresh or frozen. I'll hear from the doctors again tomorrow to see how I'm feeling and how the embryos are doing. The only problem they said is OHSS many times won't even kick in until a week after transfer. And that my lining might not be ideal right now because my E2 was so high. So I don't really know what we'll end up doing at this point. Either way, I'm feeling hopeful that we'll have embryos to freeze. At this point I still want to do a fresh transfer. I don't know, it's hard. I'm ready to just move forward. Apparently OHSS can get worse with pregnancy, but I might not even get it at all. My lining looked great on Monday at my last appointment, I'm unsure what it was yesterday or if they even measured yesterday. It's the what-if that's the hardest for me. I don't know what to expect at all. I got a BFP on both fresh cycles I've done and never had any make it to freeze, I think that doesn't help with how I'm feeling. I certainly wouldn't lie to them on how I'm feeling and I really want to take it day by day. I'm super anxious to hear from the doctor tomorrow and talk to them some more. I've heard many success stories of transferring fresh with this many eggs retrieved, so it gives me a lot of hope! :) So please continue thinking of us over the next few days and weeks to come :)

Night Before ER and Update

Woah, so it's been a crazy couple of days. So my last update was as of Saturday. On Sunday I had blood work and ultrasound. Below is the top 5 follicles on each side, growing nicely. On Sunday afternoon Dr Crickard called me to tell me that my E2 was very high at 5,800 and that we would most likely have to freeze the embryos and transfer at a later date. I was heartbroken. The reason is because I'm now at risk of OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome) which can become very dangerous and apparently it can sometimes get worse after the embryos are transferred. OHSS doesn't happen until after ER so we'll see how I'm feeling in a couple days, the unexpected definitely makes me nervous. I might or I might not end up with OHSS, who knows how my body will respond to this as I didn't have this issue with Hank. I was told to stop the Follistim & LH and only do the Lupron shot that night, and to come back on Monday morning.

Of course, on Superbowl Sunday night (Woo Patriots!!!) it started snowing like crazy and they were calling for a foot of snow over night. So Casey made the call that he would be driving me up to Buffalo & Hank would be accompanying us. We hit the road for Buffalo at 5:30 am, it was AWFUL. The roads were absolute crap and of course there were tons of idiots on the road. We finally made it at 6:45 am. It normally takes us like 50-55 minutes to get up there, so it was definitely a slow drive. Thankfully my ultrasound showed that I was ready to trigger. Below is a picture of one of my ovaries, the other one looks very similar. As you can see, I have a lot going on. I got a call in the afternoon that my E2 levels have now risen over 7,000 (we were hoping they would go down a little with the decrease of the drugs) but unfortunately not. I did my Ovidrel trigger shot last night at 8 pm.

So egg retrieval is tomorrow morning. We have to be there at 7:30 am, for 8 am retrieval. I took my doxycycline (antibiotic) tonight, and cannot eat/drink after midnight. We're planning to leave right around 6 am because wouldn't you know, we're expecting another 4-8 inches of snow overnight tonight. We got so lucky with our trips up to Buffalo last week with the weather, of course it's hitting us now. Thankfully Casey is a lot more comfortable driving in the bad weather than I am.

I'm very anxious to say the least as I really don't know what to expect. Yes, I've been through ER two other times, but it's still very nerve-wracking and I really have no idea what to expect from my eggs. No idea how many we'll end up getting and how good they'll be, etc. I don't know when I'll know for sure if it's a frozen cycle or not. It makes me so nervous because I've never had any embryos make it to freeze. But they do always transfer the best embryos, so who knows, maybe Hank would have frozen if we didn't transfer him. I know the doctors will do what is in my best interest though, so we'll see what happens! I am praying we can do a fresh transfer this cycle, but I'm not getting my hopes up. Please think good thoughts and for lots of good quality eggs that turn into some awesome embryos!!

Week of January 26th

Monday - Had bloodwork, instructed to keep meds the same

Wednesday - Had bloodwork & ultrasound. Ultrasound showed 8-10 follicles on each side in the 8-11mm range. Below is a picture of the ones measured on my right ovary. And an idea of what these follicles measure. Meds stayed the same.

Right ovary measurements

A good visual for size 

My right arm has had enough!

Friday - more blood work and ultrasound. Below shows the 5 biggest follicles on each ovary. He measured close to 10 on each side. Definitely lots going on which explains all the pressure and soreness I'm feeling!! They're getting bigger, we're in the 9-15mm range now. Decreased Follistim, other meds stayed the same.

Saturday - Bloodwork only. My little buddy accompanied me this morning! Follistim was decreased a little more. 

Baseline Ultrasound and Start of Stims

Each step in the IVF process makes it feel more and more real, it's crazy. Time is flying!! I have a hard time saying I'm in an IVF cycle, I don't really know why!! But I'm knee deep in an IVF cycle now! Haha!

On Monday (1/19), on my day off I might add (Haha), I had my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. I was so happy that Dr. Sullivan was doing the scan, he's been there since the very beginning, so I just love when I get him. He did the ultrasound and I have at least 10 "sleeping follicles" on both sides. We clearly saw a ton on the right ovary. Left ovary was in hiding so we couldn't see the whole thing but seeing 1/2 the ovary we saw at least 5, so safe to assume there's at least 10 on that side as well. This is a good thing, it means we have a lot to work with. But because of my PCOS, I have to be watched closer because we really don't want overstimulation! He predicted we'd get at least 10 follicles though by the time we're said & done. We want quality over quantity, but it would be super awesome to transfer a couple and have a couple freeze, I won't get my hopes up though!! All it takes is one good embryo :) Bloodwork came back fine too, which means we're ready to start stims! Yay!!

I got AF on Tuesday, hoping that's the last one for a LONG time!! Then tonight I started my stims (FSH) to grow my follicles and LH, as well as continued on with the Lupron. So that's right, 3 shots each night. With Hank I stimmed for 12 days. I would like it to be a little shorter, but I'll do whatever it takes. So my first bloodwork check is on Monday (1/26) and we'll take it from there. Dr. Sullivan predicted I'll be heading up on Wednesday and Friday (or maybe Saturday) at least for this following week. I can't wait to start seeing these follicles growing!!

So something I haven't mentioned before, I have a friend that's going through the same IVF cycle that I am. It's nice having someone know exactly what you're going through. I feel like it's fate for us. What are the chances that we'd both be doing this at the same exact time. I can't wait to see what the future holds for the both of us :) So please keep us both in your thoughts and prayers, we would all greatly appreciate it!!

Here's my "kit" for each night -- Follistim pen/cartridge, LH, Lupron, syringes & alcohol swab

Here we are, all ready to go!!

I survived 3 shots in one night with only minimal bleeding!!

Woah, This feels REAL!!

Woah, giving the first shot of the cycle really makes things feel real, we're doing this!!! I had my first shot tonight. First time I've given myself a shot since August, 2012!! It's been awhile! Started out with Lupron. I guess it is like riding a bike, it was a piece of cake!!

Some other updates: Lupron ended up arriving on Friday, which I was really surprised about because we got quite a bit of snow and the Thruway was closed for awhile!! So I was a little nervous about the medicine arriving. Ovidrel was supposed to arrive on Saturday. UPS says they knocked twice, Casey & I and the dogs were all here, so I really don't think they must've knocked very loud. Thankfully I was allowed to sign the slip for them to leave it today. So I officially have all of my medicine. And Casey finally did his blood work tonight!! Hank & I went with him to keep him company and drive him home since it makes him light headed. He said he had a really good tech so that was nice!!

Then, 8 pm tonight I did my first shot! I'll be doing this shot every night until 2 days before egg retrieval. Video cut short because my phone ran out of space, oops!! Hank even says hi in the beginning, he was "helping" me haha!!

** maybe one of these days I'll remember to turn my phone the other way haha oops **

Box #1 of Fun

I received my first box of meds today!!!!! Every day something new happens, it gets even more real that we're about do to IVF again!!

I'll start with yesterday's "excitement" though first. I received a phone call from my IVF nurse that Lupron is no longer covered by my insurance, but she was unsure why as it's always been covered by the Empire Plan. I of course called up the pharmacy & my insurance and was passed around to probably 10 different people, who knew it would be so hard to figure out why that drug wasn't covered. It turns out that as of 1/1/15 (go figure), Empire is no longer covering Lupron for infertility reasons. Why you ask? I don't know!! The only thing I can figure is because Lupron isn't originally intended for infertility, so I'm wondering if they're considering it an experimental drug, which isn't covered. It's intended use is for prostate cancer, some hormone issues in pre-teens, and for the treatment of endometriosis. So I got a price quote from Freedom (see last post) and I can get it for $149 out of pocket. Sucks, but oh well. So my OOP price just went up to $300; I really cannot complain though for the amount of meds I'm getting!!

Anyways, so in today's box #1 of fun, I got the drug that is going to do the magic, Follistim!! I've always responded very well to this drug, so I'm really hoping that's the case this time as well. I also got doxycycline (which I despise because it makes me sick) which is an antibiotic, this is taken the night before my egg retrieval (ER) if I'm remembering correctly; medrol which is a steroid that I take for 4 days after ER; and Endometrin which is a progesterone suppository to help the embryo(s) stick! I'll be receiving Lupron on Friday (which I start on Monday) and Ovidrel on Saturday (that one I have to sign for, so had to make sure it was delivered on a day I would be around). So excited to get started!!

I decided to video opening it for the heck of it, I even had a little helper :)

Beyond Blessed

So to start off this post I figured I'd do a little update. I talked to insurance this morning and they said the infertility authorization is actually a 5 year authorization, so I'm covered until 2016. It would've been nice for them to tell me that on Friday so I wouldn't have been freaking out!! Oh well. Still so thankful they cover IVF. Because of my prior insurance, buffalo IVF gave me their fee schedule. The prices were $3,000 for the IVF procedure, about $1,000 for ultrasounds and $450 for bloodwork. PLUS all the medications which they don't include because the prices can vary. And on to even more of why I'm so blessed.

Since my insurance is all figured out, I was able to get my meds ordered. As they listed off all the meds I'm taking, it's bringing me back, holy moly it's a lot of different medications. At the end they tell me that my copay is $85 (I'll have one more small one as well but it's insignificant). This is where I realize even more how incredibly blessed I am. I decided to look up the prices of the meds if I had to pay for them out of pocket (most women do unfortunately, don't get me started on that!). I was shocked to say the least. See below 😳 I'm just so so grateful I have the opportunity to do IVF again and pay a very small fraction of the price. Yes, I'll put over 1,000 miles on my car in the next month (thank goodness gas prices are down), but I'll do that any day for my miracle babies. I know this is a lot of money to those that don't get it covered, but even if it wasn't I would do IVF. It's given me a perfect miracle and I would be doing it again to give him a sibling because he is worth it. So anyways, that's the point of this post. Every single day I have so many reasons to be thankful, this is a big one over the next couple months! Plus of course Hank, isn't he seriously the cutest?! 

Mock Transfer, SHG, and More

Soooooo, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! {{Please read until the end, specifically the final paragraph}}

I called Empire Plan (my new insurance) to activate my infertility coverage yesterday, and they were closed, CRAP :( I didn't even think about the holiday. So I figured I'd call this morning when they opened on the way to Buffalo IVF for my appointment. Called them and their systems were down, REALLY?! So I called back as I pulled into the parking lot, they looked up my benefits and said my coverage ended August 2013 (that's when we switched to Casey's insurance), I told them I submitted my paperwork for the insurance to kick back in on January 1st. They informed me that they hadn't received anything from my benefits office, I was FREAKING OUT!!

Went into my appointment and informed billing that I was trying to work out insurance and haven't received new cards yet, so hopefully everything will be okay there. Fast forward a couple hours, talked to benefits office and since the option transfer period was until 1/16/15, she was still processing the applications. They sent my insurance application into insurance at 10 am. I called back to Empire and they see that the info was sent but it doesn't show up under benefits until 24 hours later, and of course they're closed over the weekend. So I know what I'll be doing first thing Monday morning. This was the LAST thing I wanted to be stressing over this morning. The regular insurance coverage is retro-active to 1/1/15 but with the infertility coverage, I have to personally call to activate that, and of course couldn't do that without the insurance. So I'm really hoping they'll cover today's appointment. Benefits think they will since I obviously took the necessary steps, but it's still stressful. My hormones are on overdrive and this of course set me over the edge today.

But, let's talk about good stuff. My appointment! Dr. Griffin did my mock embryo transfer and saline sonohysterogram (SHG). First he did the mock transfer, where they insert a catheter completely into my uterus to make sure it's a good environment for an embryo to live. They use an ultrasound to view the catheter and see everything that's going on. He even touched the back of my uterus just to make sure there were no obstacles. He was very happy with what he saw. He said my uterus looked "text book" and a perfect environment for a embryo, very great news! Pregnancy can change things which is why they wanted to do this again. Then he did the SHG where they do a transvaginal ultrasound and basically squirt a bunch of saline in to make sure the uterine lining looks good, make sure there are no cysts, or abnormalities, etc. Again, everything looked great here, YAY! I also learned that when I come in for my monitoring appointments I'll be seeing Dr. Sullivan in January and Dr. Griffin in February. I've worked with Dr. Sullivan since March 2011, he's my main doctor and we've put a lot of trust into him, he's an amazing Doctor so I'm glad I'll be able to work with him during some of my process. Dr. Griffin came into the practice as they released me when I was pregnant, so I've only met him a couple times, but he was really nice today and I'm looking forward to working with him as well.

Finally, I know this is a public blog, but if you are reading this, please no sharing on Facebook or social media sites or even face-to-face. We're wanting to keep this round of IVF a little more private and to ourselves. I've shared this blog with my IVF and mama groups. But anyone else that is reading this, it's because you've come here on your own. People wonder why I would publicly blog if I wanted this kept quiet, it's because it helps me a TON to blog about the process. It's VERY therapeutic for me. Plus, I don't want to forget anything. So please respect our privacy. I would love for everyone to continue reading and follow our process. We appreciate any prayers and support we can get. You will get all necessary updates here as well. So refer to this blog for questions :D Thanks again for respecting us!

The Official Start of my IVF Cycle

Ahhhh the time has come, it's the OFFICIAL start of my upcoming IVF cycle. What starts the cycle, you ask? Birth control pills!! Hahaha, so funny, right? Did you know that a typical IVF cycle is 6 weeks?! Gosh that feels like such a long time haha, I kind of just want to fast forward ahead to February! LOL. No, it's all worth it of course :D So I started my pack of birth control pills tonight and have received my official calendar.

The course of events is as follows:
12/27 -- Start birth control pills
1/1 -- Call insurance to activate IVF coverage
1/2 -- Mock transfer
1/12 -- Start Lupron (1st injectible medicine)
1/16 -- Last active birth control pill
1/19 -- Baseline blood work and ultrasound
1/23 -- Start the injectible medicine to stimulate my ovaries to grow follices (Follistim)
1/26 -- Blood work to check estradiol levels
Week of 1/26 -- more blood work & ultrasounds
Week of 2/2 -- more blood work & ultrasounds; then when my follicles are the appropriate size we will stimulate ovulation (ovidrel) then have the egg retrieval!
5-7 days after egg retrieval is the embryo transfer -- the plan is to transfer 2 embryos
Then we WAIT! AHHHH!!!

I'm really excited but I'm also super nervous as well. We've never had many great embryos in the past so this makes me nervous, all it takes is one though (Hello, Mr Hank <3)!! So hoping for more embryos this time, would even be nice to have some to freeze. IVF is a very emotional process, so I'm not really looking forward to that. And last time I didn't have a toddler running around keeping me busy too so I'm sure I'm going to be extra tired. I always make sure to schedule the earliest appointments so I can get back to work so I don't have to use any time. So that means leaving my house around 6 am (yuck!). So that'll be hectic with daycare and what not too. Normally I take Hank to daycare at 8 am, but Casey will have to take him before he goes to work on days that I have monitoring up in Buffalo, so he'll have to go at probably 7:15 am to give Casey time to get to work. So I think we'll all be tired for that couple of weeks there! Keeping the end goal in sight will definitely help us all! I am so excited to hopefully give Hank a little brother or sister!! :D Keep us in your thoughts & prayers please over the next 2 months, we will really appreciate it!!

Let's do this!!

Started my birth control pills tonight!! This is the reminder that pops up in my phone, gotta make it fun!! :) Hoping they don't mess with my hormones too much. And maybe they'll even help my acne a little bit, that would be nice!! I'll be taking these for the next 1-2 months so we have control over my cycles, since they're so wonky we don't know what it'll do. So BCP it is!! Wish me luck :)

The Beginning All Over Again

Well I figured that blogging helped me so much the first two times I did IVF that I might as well do it again, I still look back on those posts or reference them or send them to people that need help or have questions. It's like a personal journal for me that I'll forever have, so I've decided why not. I'm writing this for me. I have a hard time remembering things. I probably should've done this for Hank's first year, oops! :/

Okay, sooooooo here's the dealio! Casey & I have wanted another baby for a long time. We love Hank so much we want him to have a sibling, he plays sooooo good with other kids, it's amazing! He's seriously going to be the best big brother. We decided, let's not wait around and at least TRY on our own because what does it hurt. Well 15 months later, and still nothing. It's funny after going through all the infertility procedures I went through and only ever getting pregnant via IVF that I would even have any hoping of getting pregnant naturally. But it's there, and I cannot help it. Getting AF month after month sucks!! It was regular for awhile which was nice, thought maybe my body was kicking itself into gear, then I'd be late, get hopeful (OMG I'm pregnant), then NOPE, hello AF! You son-of-a-bitch! I hate YOU!! Anyways......

We've been on Casey's health insurance for a year now (they don't cover IVF) and I knew they didn't. We decided to go on his insurance to get a bit of a monetary break and since I was nursing, I didn't want the thought of doing IVF jeopardize that. So we knew we could not do IVF while on Casey's insurance. Guess what?! I'll be going back on my insurance as of January 1, so we can do IVF again.

I setup a meeting with Dr. Sullivan up at Buffalo IVF a few weeks ago. It was a family outing for us. He got to visit with Hank, we got to see our favorites up there & they got to see how much Hank has grown and see one of their miracle babies! We love visiting them! They're like a family to us. We went there for 2.5 years before they released us! Anyways, Dr. Sullivan decided we know what worked to get us Hank, so let's do that again! Yay! :D

So we're in the EARLY stages of preparing my body for IVF. I know the next 5 weeks are going to fly by, so I'm very thankful for that. First, Dr. Sullivan started me on metformin again, ahh my old nemesis. I was on metformin for YEARS. It's given to women with PCOS to help regulate your cycles essentially. Metformin is known to TEAR UP my stomach (and most women's stomachs who take it). So they have you ease into the drug. Start taking it very slowly. I took it with dinner on a Friday night and it was within 30 minutes that my body was like WTF!!! Ugh, great, this again!! Thankfully, as I've been increase the prescription and up to the full dose now it's really not too bad. I have to make sure I take it on a full stomach in the mornings, or I feel like I'm going to puke, learned that lesson a couple weeks ago. And taking it right before bed after I've eaten dinner works for the night time dose. I have to be careful what I eat specifically around taking it, which is a good thing. Sometimes during the day too, that's more of a guessing game. Good excuse not to carb-load or eat greasy! Which I shouldn't be doing any ways! Haha!

Next step was to wait for AF, theoretically she shouldn't arrived around November 10th, of course not though haha. Buffalo wanted me to call up on November 17th either way, so I called, the nurse says give it one more week (since we aren't in any rush here). So after more than 2 weeks late, it arrived with a VENGEANCE on November 23rd. So I got blood work this morning, November 24th, down at Brooks. Had 7 vials of blood taken and had the best phlebotomist thank goodness!! I love when they actually listen to me when I tell them I need a butterfly needle because it was painless!!

So now the next step is waiting to hear back from Buffalo IVF about how the labs look and when I'll start the birth control. This part always makes me laugh. Going on birth control before doing IVF, doesn't that sound like an oxymoron? We need to do this so we can get my body "normal" and this way we can control when to do certain things. So I'll be on that until sometime in January.

Next things we have to do are: blood work for Casey and a sperm-analysis, which I know he's greatly looking forward to both of these haha!! Then WAIT for the NEW YEAR!!!!!! Ahhh I'm so excited!! I seriously cannot wait to give Hank a sibling :D

Oh one more thing to add, in the myst of all of this, I've had to wean Hank. I know, I know, we went WAY longer than anticipated, expected, etc. and he's only been nursing 1x/day for months, but I really loved those few minutes in the morning with him before he started tearing ass around the house haha!! I decided the last time I would nurse Hank would be his 18 month birthday (mean Mommy haha), I truly treasured that last time, more so even because I knew (or planned) it would be the last time. I just changed up the morning routine and he never once asked for it. And I'm so excited that I never even felt a thing either! I'm telling you, THAT is the way to wean!! So thankful I didn't have to go through that pain! :D

Sooooooo, that is what is going on :D So stay tuned!!

4 month update

Sooo it's been forever again since I've done an update and I apologize! I've had a harder time keeping up with this now! I can't imagine why ;)

So as you know, I went back to work part-time when Hank was 8 weeks old. It's went really good! I worked from 10-2 each day and time literally flew by! I loved working part-time, I wish I could do it forever! It was a nice balance for us! I went back to work full-time this week. It's definitely strange being away from him twice as long as I was before! I'm sure we'll all get used to it though! Casey takes care of Hank in the mornings which is awesome! Then he goes to daycare from 1-5. I'm so thankful that Hank gets his Daddy time even if I don't get to see Casey as much :-(

So Hank has changed so much over the last couple months, I swear he changes almost daily. It always blows my mind!! I still can't believe he's already almost 4 months old! He is almost always smiling (unless he's tired, hungry or gassy). He also loves to talk, he tells me all sorts of stories. He giggles now too, which is awesome! It makes me giggle when he giggles! He's slept completely through the night 1x, has done a lot of 6-7 hour stretches, but lately he's going through a sleep regression and is getting up 2-3x a night now. It honestly doesn't bother me, I'm a shitty sleeper as it is, so I get up more often than that unfortunately. I love our nighttime nursing cuddles! He holds onto his pacifier by himself and can grasp toys now. He drools like crazy and puts EVERYTHING in his mouth!! I don't feel anything teeth though! He loves to watch fans, he can spot one in any room we're in. He gets distracted more easily now with his surroundings, he likes to know what's going on. Sometimes he even refuses sleep because he doesn't want to miss anything! He likes to play on the floor or in his pack-n-play and he likes to watch TV! Haha! He's at such a fun age! He likes to stand too. A lot of times when I try to put him into a sitting position, he wants to stand, he has very strong legs! I don't think it'll be too long until he's sitting unassisted either, he has amazing head support and he does great sitting up! He likes to play in his exersaucer, it won't be long until he figures out everything that's capable of! He likes hanging out in his jumper too, he spins around, no jumping just yet. Most of the time he eats his hands while he's in it. I could go on and on about him, he's so amazing!

We are still exclusively nursing! Yay! He's never had a sip of formula. I have over 200 oz of breastmilk stored in the freezer! I'm not a fan of pumping while I'm at work, but I do it so I can give my baby the best there is!! I love nighttime nursing the best. We just cuddle up together, chest to chest, it's an amazing feeling, it warms my heart :-) He's been getting frustrated nursing lately during the day because I'm not fast enough for him, he sucks down a bottle quite fast, I'm even using a nipple he has to latch onto and is recommended for breastfeeding moms, but he's still so fast, so I'm hoping that this is just a phase that passes!

In a couple more months (minimum 6 months), I'm going to start introducing food to him, that'll be so fun! I've already started freezing some green beans for him! We're going to skip rice cereal and start with avocado and sweet potatoes. I'm thinking of doing a combination of purees (which I'll be making) and Baby Led Weaning (BLW). With BLW, Hank will learn about different tastes and textures and will learn how to feed himself. Instead of pureeing everything, we will be giving him pieces of food for him to chew on and put into his mouth. One of the main benefits of BLW is the baby eats what the parent eats and learns to feed himself instead of being dependent on someone else. So we'll see what works best for all of us! I can't wait! Maybe this will get Casey to eat more food because Hank will wonder why he has to eat it if Daddy isn't! ;)

The cloth diapers are also going wonderfully!! I am loving them, they've become quite a hobby of mine! My favorite brand is Chelory it's a "Work-At-Home-Mom" (WAHM) company, i.e. a real person hand makes all of these diapers!! Their absorbancy is amazing and they are so cute to boot! The best part, high resale value!! Yay! I'm sure cloth diapering is going to be a little harder when Hank starts eating solids, it'll just add an extra step of spraying the poop off into the toilet because it'll no longer be water soluble. I have our diaper sprayer all ready to be hooked up for when the time comes! Our daycare even loves these diapers because they are so easy and go on just like a disposable. Then when they're dirty, they just throw them into a bag and I take care of them at home. I do wash every 2 days. It's not tasking by any means! I even dry them on low in the dryer if I can't hang them out. Cloth diapering is definitely even easier than I imagined! I've become such an advocate for it! That's how much I love them! Plus, they're awesome for the environment and more importantly (to me), they're awesome for Hank's butt! He's never had a diaper rash or had a poopsplosion (blowout)! I can go on and on! So if you have any questions, just hit me up! :-)

I'll try to keep everyone updated more with us and Hank! :-)

37 Week Update

So I realized it's been awhile since I've posted an update, so I figured I should do one, especially since Hank could make his arrival anytime! I am officially considered FULL-TERM!!! WOOHOO!!!! And I am feeling it!! Haha!

Okay, so since my last post, things have been a little quieter but still very exciting!! We had our maternity photo shoot, which was tons of fun! You can see all the pictures here :-) It was wonderful and we had such a fun time! I cannot wait for the newborn photo shoot! I have a feeling that it will be amazing!! 

We also FINALLY picked up our new "Hank-mobile!!" It was time to trade in my Challenger for a new family friendly 2013 Dodge Durango! I am LOVING it!! It drives so nicely and the carseat even matches it!! :-) 

The Student Accounts office threw me a surprise baby shower which was amazing!! It was so thoughtful and of course the food was amazing as always! You can see pictures from the shower here :-) I got so many wonderful and thoughtful gifts! :-) 

I've been finishing up the nursery and it is really coming together nicely! It is a jungle theme, I hope Hank loves monkeys as much as I do!! I uploaded some pictures into a facebook album here :-) I still have to have Casey hang up the "Henry" wooden letters above his crib made by my awesome friend Beth! And I'll still probably hang up a few more appliqués to finish it off!! Now we just wait for his arrival! I also have my bags packed and ready to go in the Durango, come on Hank!! 

Hank has been a very active baby this last trimester, I sometimes describe his movements as violent! Haha! He likes to beat up his Mama sometimes! He's even getting such strong hiccups that make my belly jump! They are so funny! Such a sight to see! He even lets Casey feel him more which has been so nice! But it's only when Casey gets home from work when I'm sleeping haha! So he's still very stubborn! I am quite uncomfortable at this point! I'm very large and everything is a lot of work! Haha! 

My appointments have been going well, they are happy with my weight gain, how my belly is measuring and what a strong heartbeat he has! I've had some swelling in my feet which can get a little painful! I had higher blood pressure last week but thankful that was down this week! So hopefully it'll stay down the remainder of my pregnancy! Since I had more swelling on one side than the other, the doctors wanted to be cautious and make sure everything was fine, so I had an ultrasound of my leg to show there were no clots, I also had blood work drawn and a 24 urine collection, which all came back good! So definitely good news there! So I'm just coming home after work every day and elevating my feet to get the swelling down, some days are better than others with it! 

I guess that's all I can think of right now, we're just [im]patiently awaiting his arrival! We can't wait for him to come out and play! :-)

National Infertility Awareness Week

In browsing through one of my Facebook groups this evening, I came across a poem posted by a wonderful infertility friend, Candace from Our Misconception Blog. In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week April 21-27, I wanted to share this. It's not to talk down to anyone that didn't go through infertility treatments but to recognize those of us who have. And now that I am less than 3 weeks from our due date, I thought this was perfect. Thank you for reading.


There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money or that I have read more books,

but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.

I have longed and waited. I have cried and prayed.

I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.

I will notice everything about my child.

I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover. I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.

I have succeeded.

I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immerse power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

~anonymous

27w Update

HOLY CRAP!!! 27w today, seems like just yesterday I was making the daily 100 mile round trip to Buffalo IVF, I was released from their care almost 20w ago! Shit, this pregnancy is freaking flying! PS I miss them dearly and cannot wait for them to meet the little one :-) Anyways, I woke up this morning and realized that we're having a baby in 3 months or less! Every little milestone makes this pregnancy more and more real. We're entering the 3rd trimester, I never imagined even seeing this day! So here's what's been going on over the past few weeks. We finished up our 4 week baby class, which I highly recommend by the way, it was very informative! At my last OB appt, my NP was very happy with my weight gain, yay! I'm definitely ALL baby belly these days, can't complain one bit there, I look as if I'm smuggling a basketball lately! I took my 1 hour glucose test and failed, boo!!! But oh well! So I took the 3 hour test and passed! Yayyy!! No more worrying about that! :-) We just ordered our "baby friendly" vehicle. Time to trade in my beloved Challenger and upgrade to a Durango! I am sad to be getting rid of it, but we really need something that's reliable and that I can drive all year round in WNY! So in 6-8 weeks, we'll be sporting our new Durango! March is going to be a very exciting month for us! We have our baby shower, which I'm super stoked about, I've been counting down since we started the planning in early January! We'll have our last 3D/4D ultrasound at Baby's Bungalow, I can't wait to see who he looks like! It's been a long time since we've had a scan, almost 10 weeks!! I can't wait to see his progress and how much he's filled out! We also have our maternity photo shoot with Martina from Mitchell Photo Studios, she takes amazing pictures, so I cannot wait!! :-) Other than all that, I've been soaking everything in! I enjoy every move I feel. I even see little jabs on my belly! Casey hasn't been able to feel him yet, every time my belly is going nuts, Casey puts his hand on it and little man completely stops kicking all together, we've decided he's very stubborn like his Mommy, lol. Sometimes, I get kicks and punches at the same time, I really wonder what he does in there haha! We've also decided on a daycare which he will start at in mid-July (likely), and they're even cloth diaper friendly, yayyyyy!!! :-) Anyways, that's about everything! I'll probably do another update after the baby shower on March 3!

24w update

Holy crap! Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, thankfully things have been pretty uneventful, which I love after going through the crazy infertility process!! Baby & I are doing really good! He is very active & I saw his kick from the outside just the other night for the first time! Casey & I are doing baby class right now & it's been so informative! So glad I decided to do it' I'm still doing once/month OB appointments and have my next appointment February 4th where I will get the script to schedule my glucose tolerance test! Doctors are very happy with my weight gain, as am I. The baby shower planning is underway & we are all registered! My ribs are getting quite sore these days, my back has it's moments too but it's definitely all worth it. Our baby boy is already very spoiled as I knew he would be. He's also very stubborn, so he's already alot like me :) Here are a couple pictures. I'll try to update again sooner :)

NT Scan

I had my NT scan today & it went wonderfully. I was really nervous going into scan as it was same scan we learned of no HB last time, but was definitely relieved to see a growing baby! Baby measured exactly 12w5d and had a heartbeat of 165 bpm. Baby was jumping & moving all over the place, it was so cute! We even got to see the baby in 3D/4D! Amazing seeing those features, makes this that much more real! We even saw the 2 sides of the brain!! Anyways here are the pictures :)